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Well this is me. Just don't go poking me on the nose as it makes me angry, and you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
OK if you want to know a little about me, here goes.... hang on? You say you don't? Well that's just charming isn't it, here I am slaving away to bring you some free entertainment. You would think you would be polite enough to feed my ego a little bit by now. By the way did I tell you I hate people poking me on the nose?
Ben was created on the ferry to Ireland in the year of our Lord 1970.
It was a rough journey I was told and it helped to pass the time. Not that I remember much or anything at all to be precise. I then sprung myself onto the world in 1971 and ever since the world has been trying to give me back.
Ben's early years.
Were spent frolicking in the suburbs of London and doing what babies do best. Eat, shit, puke and sleep. The highlight of the early years was breaking my arm, no one knew how I did it but I did.
Ben goes to school.
I was pushed into schooling at a far too early age; I must have been at least 24. School was as most remember it, something to be avoided at all costs. If you found your self in a classroom the best thing to do was doodle in your text books.
Ben finishes school.
Having finished school with grade A's in everything I shocked the world and started out on a blistering career as a speed forklift driver. This career was brought to an abrupt end as I had a horrific crash.
Ben goes to University.
Having to retire from my chosen career as a Speed Forklift Driver I decided that I would test my mental powers against the powers that be. I did so well at my Uni that they employed me. The next 3 years I spend with me head in books and my fingers on keys. But the life of a student took its toll, drink, girls, drink, girls... well just drink if the truth be told but what the hey.
Ben goes back to work.
While at Uni I seemed to notice a lot of people working in education do indeed have an easy life. So, yes Ben decided that's the life for him!
Yes and that's where I still am today, passing on my fountain of knowledge to the mortals less skilled in bullshit than myself.
Here ends the account of the master of flashing Ben Gaunt.
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